The big excitement of the morning was guiding the bird stuck in our garage for 3 days to freedom. Stupid bird. For 3 days it flew into the window of the garage trying desperately to escape. The side door was wide open, but the bird refused to come down off the window sill. Yesterday, I walked over the open side door with Levi on my hip and yelled to the bird. “Over here bird! Door’s wide open!” The bird definitely saw me. Levi saw the bird, too. “Oooooooooo! Oooooooo!” he said lurching forward. That’s how I know he saw the bird. I’m going to assume it was a boy bird because he was so focused on getting out of the window that he refused to explore the other exit options. Furthermore, he was clearly uncomfortable getting help from me and would not admit that he needed to ask for directions from any other mammal. Well, he was either a boy bird or an Aries.
It broke my heart that the bird was stuck in that garage. He could easily have spent the rest of his numbered days pounding on the window pane while the door behind him offered an easy escape. I confess that I was terrified to get near the bird. I could have walked into the garage and herded him out the door, but I was petrified. There are those of you, and you know who you are, who are probably very disappointed in me that I couldn’t walk into that garage and shoo the bird out of darkness and into the light. But nature scares me. It is wild and unpredictable and a little dirty. I know I’m bigger than the bird. The bird is more scared of me than I am of it. Blah, blah, blah.
I recall walking home from school one day minding my own business when a big, black bird swooped right over my head and screeched at me while its bird toe caught a clump of my hair. It took 3 more nose dives at my head before I had run far enough away for it to cease and desist. Frightening I tell you. Maybe it was protecting its eggs or maybe my Mork & Mindy t-shirt understandably offended. I don’t know, and I don’t care. It just goes to show you that nature is scary.
This morning, Asher and Levi and I were headed to the mini van to take Asher to summer camp. The bird was still at the window on day 3. It’s amazing that this thing can survive in the wild and yet find itself trapped in an open garage. I went around to the front of the garage and pulled open the main door. I should have done it sooner, but the door is ready to fall off completely, so I wanted to wait to see if the bird would find the side door. I went back to the window where he was stationed and started tossing pebbles and sticks at the glass to scare the bird towards the door. Success. He was frightened into abandoning his post on the sill and making his way to the garage door. After a few minutes of cautiously hopping to the exit, he left and I closed the garage door behind him. “We saved the bird!” I told the boys. Then we sang a round of the Wonder Pets theme song from a favorite program on Noggin.
I know that there are many of you who are brave in the face of insects and animals, and I wish I were more so. I can’t even usher a spider into a cup so I can set it free. But we’re all afraid of nature, aren’t we? I just read PUSHED by Jennifer Block. It’s an account of the state of maternity care and childbirth in the U.S. If you are planning on having a baby or know anyone who is planning on having a baby, this book is in my humble opinion required reading.
My friend Lisa invited me to a reading of the book after we had come out to each other. We didn’t come out as Jews or lesbians (Lisa is only one of the two) but as women who had chosen physiological birth – meaning childbirth without intervention. It’s a funny thing, but I am more comfortable talking to people, friends or strangers, about being Jewish or being in a same sex relationship than I am discussing my reasons for choosing a natural, drug-free birth. Reactions vary but mostly people are horrified and think I’ve lost my mind. For low-risk pregnancies, there is nothing safer for baby or mother than a physiological birth. Anyone tells you differently, they’ve got an agenda that is not in keeping with the health and safety of mother or child or they just don’t know the facts. Sadly, we have all learned to fear and mistrust nature. It is wild and unpredictable and even a little dirty. Who better to tame nature than our educated, sterilized doctors in white?
I honestly do not mean to judge women or disrespect doctors. Why, some of my best friends are women and doctors. Thank goodness for modern medicine and the skilled doctors who deliver babies of high risk pregnancies or whose births take a dangerous turn. Nor could I possibly judge women whose doctors have misinformed or pressured or even threatened them into inductions or episiotomies or caesareans. Doctors are the experts, right? And we have so much faith in them that we don’t even question. Shouldn’t we put as much thought into birth as we do behind buying a car….maybe even a little more? Educate yourselves and ask questions.
PUSHED by Jennifer Block. check out http://www.amazon.com or http://www.jenniferblock.com
Gabriella also has a set of questions given to her by our midwife. Should we have gone into labor without the presence of our midwife, we would have had some notes to help us work with the doctors. Gabriella has carried these questions in her wallet ever since Asher’s birth as she finds them applicable to many of life’s events. Feel free to request a copy of Cheat Sheet for Birth.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Forrest Di Gumpio
We were out of our minds. Asher had been limping for weeks, and no one knew why. No scratches or bruises or fevers or ticks. We waited to see if his limp would improve, but it had only become more serious. Tiny Tim without the accent-we left England before he could pick it up. We waited for a few days and watched anxiously for improvement.
One morning, Asher complained that his leg hurt which was the last straw. He hadn’t complained about pain until then. Gabriella took Asher to the emergency room where they waited all day long for a doctor. I stayed home with Levi and waited for news. After a 10 minute exam and x-rays, the doctor could find nothing. They came home well after I had put Levi to bed with some stickers, a blown up doctor’s glove, and a couple of doses of motrin should he complain of pain. Gabriella was told that if symptoms persisted, we could take him to an orthopedic.
That night, Gabriella and I reviewed all the instances since birth where Asher displayed some sort of issues with his legs and/or feet in order to determine whether or not were neglectful parents. When Asher was born, one of his feet was slightly pigeon-toed from being shmushed inside the womb. That would be the medical term, of course. We were to do some basic physical therapy at home and bring him to see a specialist a week later. The weather had been disgusting, and we were still nervous new parents. We had only been out of the house with Asher a few times. Taking our baby out into the cold was nerve wracking enough let alone the fact that we were worried about his foot. We had to see the specialist to make sure that everything was fine. She was a lovely woman who tried to put us at ease. She told us stories about a friend of hers named Asher she knew and liked. Most people familiar with the name Asher are Jewish, so we figured she was a member of the tribe. I don’t recall her surname, but I’m sure it was something as telling as Goldstein. Our specialist also wore a scarf over her head, so I asked her if she was Orthodox. She responded that she was not, in fact, Orthodox but a cancer patient who had recently undergone chemo. We left with Asher’s foot in tact and mine wedged entirely inside of my mouth.
He didn’t walk until he was 19 months old. No crawling, no scooting, no nothing until 19 months. Is that related? Is it significant that when he did start walking, the ONLY place he would walk unassisted was on our dining room table? He could do laps up and down the table, but when he was on the floor – nothing. Future runway model?
Then there was the period of time a few months ago when Asher would take a step with his left food and drag the right food behind him. He would take a number of steps like that and then resume a normal gait. We did mention it to our pediatrician during his check up, but Dr. Lubin was not concerned at all. He didn’t complain of pain, so we ignored it. It was his Monty Python silly-walk period.
On Monday, I made an appointment with the orthopedic. I picked Asher up from camp at 12pm. I had mentioned to the counsellors that Asher had this limp and that we were taking him to an orthopedic that afternoon so they shouldn’t be alarmed. The kid was seriously limping when I collected him from camp. His counsellors, Judith & Louise, brought Asher to the door and handed him to me. “Good luck today!” they said looking completely horrified. It’s true that Asher was absolutely pathetic. He slowly limped towards me with his giant backpack on his back, and I escorted young Forrest Gump to the car.
Gabriella came home in the afternoon to take Asher to see Dr. Liggio, and Levi and I waited at home again. Once again, Asher was prodded and poked for a few minutes, and the diagnosis was “You got nothing”. That’s medical terminology for “I have no idea what it is.” The fact is, it isn’t nothing! If it were nothing, he wouldn’t be limping. We were to monitor it for the next few days and medicate the pain if need be.
Slowly, the situation has improved. He is still limping weeks later but less so and not complaining of pain. Still, we felt unsatisfied with the care to date, so we took him Dr. Rosen, Integrative Pediatrician (google it). He walked us through all the possibilities, and together we discounted all of them. Asher is most likely experiencing growing pains. The prognosis was no different, but he was understanding and helpful and we left feeling secure in Asher’s limp. I apologize for the not-so-entertaining blog, but this has been on the brain for some time now, and I needed to get it off my chest.
I will sign off with a completely unrelated question. Why on earth would it be necessary to position one of those “Baby On Board” signs in the back window...of your mini van?! If you’re driving one of these things, I should hope you’ve got a kid or two in there.
One morning, Asher complained that his leg hurt which was the last straw. He hadn’t complained about pain until then. Gabriella took Asher to the emergency room where they waited all day long for a doctor. I stayed home with Levi and waited for news. After a 10 minute exam and x-rays, the doctor could find nothing. They came home well after I had put Levi to bed with some stickers, a blown up doctor’s glove, and a couple of doses of motrin should he complain of pain. Gabriella was told that if symptoms persisted, we could take him to an orthopedic.
That night, Gabriella and I reviewed all the instances since birth where Asher displayed some sort of issues with his legs and/or feet in order to determine whether or not were neglectful parents. When Asher was born, one of his feet was slightly pigeon-toed from being shmushed inside the womb. That would be the medical term, of course. We were to do some basic physical therapy at home and bring him to see a specialist a week later. The weather had been disgusting, and we were still nervous new parents. We had only been out of the house with Asher a few times. Taking our baby out into the cold was nerve wracking enough let alone the fact that we were worried about his foot. We had to see the specialist to make sure that everything was fine. She was a lovely woman who tried to put us at ease. She told us stories about a friend of hers named Asher she knew and liked. Most people familiar with the name Asher are Jewish, so we figured she was a member of the tribe. I don’t recall her surname, but I’m sure it was something as telling as Goldstein. Our specialist also wore a scarf over her head, so I asked her if she was Orthodox. She responded that she was not, in fact, Orthodox but a cancer patient who had recently undergone chemo. We left with Asher’s foot in tact and mine wedged entirely inside of my mouth.
He didn’t walk until he was 19 months old. No crawling, no scooting, no nothing until 19 months. Is that related? Is it significant that when he did start walking, the ONLY place he would walk unassisted was on our dining room table? He could do laps up and down the table, but when he was on the floor – nothing. Future runway model?
Then there was the period of time a few months ago when Asher would take a step with his left food and drag the right food behind him. He would take a number of steps like that and then resume a normal gait. We did mention it to our pediatrician during his check up, but Dr. Lubin was not concerned at all. He didn’t complain of pain, so we ignored it. It was his Monty Python silly-walk period.
On Monday, I made an appointment with the orthopedic. I picked Asher up from camp at 12pm. I had mentioned to the counsellors that Asher had this limp and that we were taking him to an orthopedic that afternoon so they shouldn’t be alarmed. The kid was seriously limping when I collected him from camp. His counsellors, Judith & Louise, brought Asher to the door and handed him to me. “Good luck today!” they said looking completely horrified. It’s true that Asher was absolutely pathetic. He slowly limped towards me with his giant backpack on his back, and I escorted young Forrest Gump to the car.
Gabriella came home in the afternoon to take Asher to see Dr. Liggio, and Levi and I waited at home again. Once again, Asher was prodded and poked for a few minutes, and the diagnosis was “You got nothing”. That’s medical terminology for “I have no idea what it is.” The fact is, it isn’t nothing! If it were nothing, he wouldn’t be limping. We were to monitor it for the next few days and medicate the pain if need be.
Slowly, the situation has improved. He is still limping weeks later but less so and not complaining of pain. Still, we felt unsatisfied with the care to date, so we took him Dr. Rosen, Integrative Pediatrician (google it). He walked us through all the possibilities, and together we discounted all of them. Asher is most likely experiencing growing pains. The prognosis was no different, but he was understanding and helpful and we left feeling secure in Asher’s limp. I apologize for the not-so-entertaining blog, but this has been on the brain for some time now, and I needed to get it off my chest.
I will sign off with a completely unrelated question. Why on earth would it be necessary to position one of those “Baby On Board” signs in the back window...of your mini van?! If you’re driving one of these things, I should hope you’ve got a kid or two in there.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Swings and things
Remember when a swing set consisted of 2 swings hanging off a rusted pole whose base often came loose after a few years worth of summer swinging? They were tucked neatly in the back of the yard so that there was ample space to run around or lay in the sun for hours without proper protection from UVA & UVB rays. Those were the days when the crack in the plastic swing seat gave your thigh such a pinch, and you sacrificed clumps of hair to the voracious, hair-eating swing chains. You knew you were having fun when you could swing so high that one leg of the swing set came out of the ground upon every backward swing.
Sadly, no one sells cheap, dangerous swing sets anymore. I’m going through catalogs of what are now called play systems only to learn that there is no such thing as a small apparatus that can blend into your yard. Additionally, all systems require a second mortgage or organ donation. College or play systems? It’s a toss up.
Which accessories will make the difference between a few hours of play and a few years? The captain’s wheel? The binoculars? Tire swing or glider? How could our kids possibly have a good time without a rock climbing wall? And for double the price, my play system can sit upon a beautiful bed of man made wood chips that come in a variety of colors. Who knew that my play system could be a part of my landscape design? Who knew that my play system would be the entirety of my landscape design?
We went to a local distributor on Sunday to investigate. At first, Asher was excited by the opportunity to swing and slide in the never-ending playground of model systems. He climbed up the highest ladder with every intention of sliding down the tubular, twisty slide. By the time he actually reached the top of the slide and set one hand on the tube, his brain woke up. There was no way he was going to hurl himself down a tube that blindly twisted and turned and would invariably spit him out into the bowels of hell. Instead of taking his hand away from the top of the slide and slowly retracing his steps back to the ladder, he sat frozen with fear, screaming and crying until Mommy could climb up the ladder and carry him back down to safety. After only a few minutes in the play system candy shop, it was clearly time to pick a system and go.
I can’t even tell you which one we selected and which accessories we decided were essential to maximize yard play. I know that we have to wait for 3 weeks for installation and that there is a chance that the slight incline in our yard may make installation impossible. I’d almost be relieved not to have this monstrosity in our humbly sized yard, but the benefits out weigh the disadvantages…I hope. As long as there is a sliver of yard left for my hammock, I’m happy. If I have to live in the suburbs and maintain a house and a yard, I want a hammock where I can relax in the summer sun with a good book and frothy drink. Of course, I don’t have a hammock, and I probably won’t have that kind of time to myself to live out that fantasy until the boys are in college. But I can wait. We may have even paid off our play system by then-just in time to dismantle it.
Sadly, no one sells cheap, dangerous swing sets anymore. I’m going through catalogs of what are now called play systems only to learn that there is no such thing as a small apparatus that can blend into your yard. Additionally, all systems require a second mortgage or organ donation. College or play systems? It’s a toss up.
Which accessories will make the difference between a few hours of play and a few years? The captain’s wheel? The binoculars? Tire swing or glider? How could our kids possibly have a good time without a rock climbing wall? And for double the price, my play system can sit upon a beautiful bed of man made wood chips that come in a variety of colors. Who knew that my play system could be a part of my landscape design? Who knew that my play system would be the entirety of my landscape design?
We went to a local distributor on Sunday to investigate. At first, Asher was excited by the opportunity to swing and slide in the never-ending playground of model systems. He climbed up the highest ladder with every intention of sliding down the tubular, twisty slide. By the time he actually reached the top of the slide and set one hand on the tube, his brain woke up. There was no way he was going to hurl himself down a tube that blindly twisted and turned and would invariably spit him out into the bowels of hell. Instead of taking his hand away from the top of the slide and slowly retracing his steps back to the ladder, he sat frozen with fear, screaming and crying until Mommy could climb up the ladder and carry him back down to safety. After only a few minutes in the play system candy shop, it was clearly time to pick a system and go.
I can’t even tell you which one we selected and which accessories we decided were essential to maximize yard play. I know that we have to wait for 3 weeks for installation and that there is a chance that the slight incline in our yard may make installation impossible. I’d almost be relieved not to have this monstrosity in our humbly sized yard, but the benefits out weigh the disadvantages…I hope. As long as there is a sliver of yard left for my hammock, I’m happy. If I have to live in the suburbs and maintain a house and a yard, I want a hammock where I can relax in the summer sun with a good book and frothy drink. Of course, I don’t have a hammock, and I probably won’t have that kind of time to myself to live out that fantasy until the boys are in college. But I can wait. We may have even paid off our play system by then-just in time to dismantle it.
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