Sunday Bubby Sunday

Coming out to my Bubby (my mother’s mother) was an incredibly emotional experience for me. My mother and father had already cut me out of their lives, and I had no other family outside of my sister and brother. My sister has since reconnected with our extended family on our father’s side, but at the time, Bubby, and only Bubby, was our family. I was afraid that after I explained that my life partner was a woman, she’d also turn her back on me, and that would be that. After all, she is my mother’s mother. My mother always said, “The apple never falls far from the tree.”

I won’t say that Bubby was jumping up and down for joy when I told her, but she did surprise me. We’ve been talking on the phone at least once a week ever since. She’s 92 and lives in a nursing home, now, and her husband (not my biological grandfather) of 30 years, Hy, passed away a couple of years ago. She’s in San Diego, and it’s difficult to go visit her very often. The phone is our lifeline. We try to speak on Sundays. Sometimes she’s too tired to talk. Sometimes, she’s popped a few sleep aids, and she’s tripping a little bit. And every now and then, we have a great conversation like we used to have before she suddenly surrendered to age. I'm always prepared to answer most questions because most of what we discuss has been covered already-numerous times. She's still with it. She's just old.

I caught her on a trippy night tonight, but I want to start recording some of our chats. She’s a big part of my life, and I want to share her with you. Hopefully, over time, you’ll learn to love her as I do though you’ll have to wade through the depression and meds occasionally. She means well, and she loves her grandchildren and her great grandchildren very much.

D: How are you?
B: Uch, ok.
D: Just ok?
B: I had a rough day. A little headache, a little cold, a little constipation. Did you know that Hy’s family was here to visit? They’re out with Hy for the day. I don’t know where they went, but there were a lot of them. And Steve my former neighbor was just here. Do you remember him? He lived across the hall from us in the apartment. He’s 60 years old now. Retired. But he belongs to a gym nearby, so he comes to visit occasionally. His mother used to be here before she died. So what’s new with you?
D: Well, we’ve got a lot of holidays coming up.
B: When is Rosh Hashanah?
D: You just missed it. We called to say Happy New Year. Do you remember?
B: Oh yes, I remember. What’s the next one?
D: Yom Kippur.
B: Are you going to services?
D: Yes.
B: Where?
D: Our synagogue. Where Asher goes to pre-school. Pre-school is closed 2 days every week throughout this month because of the holidays.
B: That’s nice.
D: Not really. I’ve got to make sure Asher is entertained.
B: There could be worse things.
D: That’s very true.
B: What else?
D: We had friends over for dinner last night.
B: What kind?
D: What do you mean what kind?
B: Male, female?
D: Oh! A married couple-man and woman.
B: Are they Jewish?
D: The wife is Jewish.
B: Do they go to temple.
D: They do.
B: Uh huh. What else?
D: We have a few dinners planned and friends coming to visit from out of town and Rachel and her family will be here for Thanksgiving.
B: Will they stay with you?
D: Yes.
B: Do you have room?
D: Yes.
B: How many bedrooms do you have?
D: 4.
B: 4?!? I’ve never heard of such a thing anymore.
D: It’s very common out here.
B: Huh. I wish I could tell you something exciting. I’ve had a lousy day. Luckily, Hy took his family out for the day, and yesterday…honey, I think I’m losing it.
D: That’s ok. I can’t remember what I did yesterday, either.
B: What else?
D: Levi’s birthday is coming up.
B: What should I send him?
D: Your love.
B: You know I can’t really go shopping much these days.
D: Not to worry. He’s only 2. I’ll tell him that you love him.
B: Who’s the first one again?
D: Asher.
B: And the younger one?
D: Levi
B: Asher and Levi.
D: We’re not there enough for you to remember.
B: Did I tell you my old neighbor came to visit? He’s 60 and retired. He teaches one class a week and belongs to gym around here. He stops by when he goes to the gym. He’s kind of an old woman, though.
D: What do you mean?
B: He talks and talks and goes into detail about a lot of things that are inconsequential. Not typical of a man.
D: Nice that he visits. Has Rachel called you?
B: I think so, but you can’t prove anything by me. I wish I had something inspiring to tell you.
D: What’s the most important thing in life?
B: I don’t know. What?
D: I’m asking you. I thought maybe you’d know by now and you could tell me.
B: No. Did you talk to your Mother?
D: We don’t speak.
B: Ever?
D: No.
B: I don’t like that. She hasn’t spoken to me in a long time, either.
D: Oh well. Her loss.
B: Asher and Levi. Levi’s the younger one.
D: Very good. And Levi is blond and blue-eyed. He looks like my mother.
B: She would like him. I don’t think she likes herself.
D: Pity.
B: Well, that’s all I have right now. Know that I love you and the chillins and Gabriella.
D: We love you, too, Bubby.
B: Something good will happen soon.
D: Looking forward to it.
B: Love you.
D: Love you.