Deborah: So, aren’t you happy your substitute teaching job is over? You don’t have to get up at 5 in the morning and go to school.
Rachel: I just watched blind-folded musical chairs on Ellen. It was funny, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
D: Ellen, huh? You used to love Rosie, too. You just love the Lesbos.
R: Yes, I do.
D: But you don’t love Rosie anymore, do you?
R: No.
D: What happened?
R: I don’t like her anymore because she got on her high-horse and tried to use her fame for good. Just stick to being funny, Rosie. But have you seen Whatever, Martha?
D: I have no idea what that is.
R: OH MY GOD! It’s so good. Martha Stewart gave all of her old shows to her daughter Alexis, and Alexis and Alexis’s friend watch all of her shows toegether and mock her. It’s like Mystery Science Theater meets Martha.
D: What channel?
R: No idea. We found it by accident. We were flipping through channels and landed on it and said, ‘What the hell is this?’ And Ron said, ‘Isn’t that Martha Stewart’s daughter?”
D: Wait, how did he know that she was Martha Stewart’s daughter?
R: Because Ron is a reality tv whore and saw her on Martha Stewart’s Apprentice.
D: Can I publish the fact that Ron is a reality tv whore?
R: Sure. It’s on his 25 Random Things list on Facebook.
D: Oh yeah.
Gabriella is upstairs and yells down: DEBORAH! I’m taking a shower now.
D: I’m talking to Rachel!
G: Yeah I know, but I’m taking a shower. Levi is up here.
R: This is a great excuse for when we talk on the phone all the time. You have to tell her that you have to talk to me because you never know when our conversation is going to be blogorific!
D: I’ve gotta go. Levi has been watching television for an unprecedented amount of time. Good thing both of his moms are at home so we can spend quality time with him.
R: I have to put a new load of laundry in, anyway. Gotta take off my pants.
D: Really?
R: Yeah! It’s my last load of colds. Hope I’m not mooning the neighbours. I can never show my face in New Jersey now, can I?
D: Oh, they’ll love you in New Jersey!
R: You’re funny.
D: You’re funnier.
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4 comments:
Oh my god. This is *great*! You know, I had never seen Martha Stewart in action, and I had no idea she turned simple, fun things into horrifically complicated exercises. I thought she just, you know, was a really good baker and had a way with curtains and throw pillows.
I LOVE "Whatever, Martha!" Hysterical! Alexis Stewart has a very lesbionic vibe... too skinny, though! ;)
"We're making s'mores, not crafting!!"
lol
Too freakin' funny....I wonder what Martha thinks of all this...*ponders
You can all thank my sister, Rachel for the tip. If she were ever to have a blog, it would be hilarious. I wish I could record every conversation, and I wish she knew how incredibly funny she is.
Def too skinny Jan!
Apparently, this show was Martha's idea, Rhea. She's no dummy. She's working every angle. Go Martha!
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