Peaches & Coconuts received 534 votes and 252 unconfirmed votes-unconfirmed meaning some voters forgot to select the link sent to email addresses which would have, well confirmed votes.
Given all the cross-promoting going on between the winning bloggers who have been at this far longer than I (drumming up between 1200 and 2000 votes each), you all delivered a truly stonking performance and proved that Peaches & Coconuts is a blog to watch...and read. Congratulations to all who participated for putting P&C on the map! Well done, you!!
I’m so glad all that vote-begging is over, and I promise to leave you all alone...until next year. It’s really not my style to solicit. Call me passive. Call me lazy. Just call me.
I’m writing this entry totally stoned on some sort of pain killers that I downed an hour ago. Long story that I’ll try to keep short because, well, I’m stoned. And also, I’m in pain, and I can’t type quickly or accurately. I lost part of my thumbnail. Not that I can’t find it, it’s just not there anymore. That white bit at the bottom of my thumbnail, which I learned is called the lunula, is gone. My thumbnail had been rippled for a long time. There was probably some sort of fungus or something us-gusting going on that I ignored...and ignored...and ignored until that bit at the bottom picked up and peeled off leaving me with an exposed nail bed where the lunula should be and a very disgruntled thumb. It was not happy. I had to go to the doctor. I was not happy.
It’s too gruesome to talk about everything that had to be done, so I shan’t. You may thank me later. I will tell you that I got 3 shots of Novocain in my thumb in order that the doctor could slip a bamboo shoot – or something equally as medieval – in between my nail bed and what I have also learned is the eponychium in order to allow the new nail space to grow. The result is a very sore thumb and a tripping patient.
I was not prepared for the procedure. I thought I was going in for a consultation. I had 40 weeks to prepare for childbirth but I had 2 minutes from assessment to big, numb thumb and a tray of Marathon Man instruments ready for torture. Was it safe? I didn’t think so, and I couldn’t help making nervous small talk.
Dr M: I’m going to take a biopsy because I can’t figure out how your nail got this way just from a fungus. You haven’t suffered any kind of trauma?
D: Trauma? You mean, in my life? Well, my mother...
Nurse P giggles
Dr M: You didn’t catch your thumb in a car door, and you weren’t in an accident of any kind?
D: I don’t even hitchhike.
Nurse P laughs some more.
D: Guess this means I’ll have to cancel my piano concert tonight.
Nurse P: Ha!
D: It was either that or tell you I had to put off operating heavy farm equipment this afternoon.
Dr M: I’m finished. Do you want to see what I’ve done?
D: No! Wait, um, Nurse P, do I want to see?
Nurse P: It’s not bad.
D: Ok.
Dr M: You see here is where I’ve put the (I don’t know what he called the bamboo shoot thing), and I’ve put one stitch on either side of your nail to keep it in place while your nail grows back.
D: Nice work. (and it was)
Dr M: I’m going to wrap your thumb.
D: Wow! All that? Keep wrapping!! I can milk this for days!
Nurse P: You’re funny. Can’t wait for your follow-up visit.
D: You and me both,sister. (Ok, I didn't call her "sister", but I thought it.)
Gabriella had driven me to the appointment to get out of the house and get some breakfast with Levi. Thank goodness she did because driving home would have been more interesting on my own. I got in the car and showed her my poor, poor hand. I described the torture in detail as best I could so she could feel my pain to the fullest.
D: As you can see, I’m going to need a little help around the house.
Gabriella: Now THAT’S funny!
D: We’re going to have to swing by the pharmacy and pick up the pain killers he prescribed.
G: Whadja get?
D: Uh, let me look…Hydrocodone.
G: That’s too bad. Thought you’d get Percocet or Vicodin or something good.
D: Well, it must be a derivative of codeine, right? Codone?
G: How often can you take it?
D: Says "1-2 tablets by mouth every 4 hours". Can’t be that good.
G: Why? Because you can take it so often?
D: No, anything that isn’t supposed to be inserted rectally can’t be all that.
G: You’re high.
D: It also says, “For best results, achieve orgasm within 1 hour of dosage.”
G: Yeah? What else?
D: “Preferably, with a partner.”
Turns out, Vicodin is a brand name for Hydrocone. Probably should have researched that before I popped two of them thinking that they were like aspirin. Gabriella did not do her part as the label prescribed and left me to suffer silently on my own while she helped me out around the house. Frankly, the pills made me high and then they made me sick. I started this entry last night but couldn’t finish until this morning. Still feeling dizzy but had to shout out and thank you all for your Lezzy help. A big THUMBS UP to you all – literally.
14 comments:
The great thing about these awards things is that you can find new blogs...and I found yours which is a win for me! Where did you find the vote totals because I want to see how badly I got my arse kicked.
As for the thumbnail, you lost me at shots in the thumb. Needles in the thumb just seems wrong. Hope it feels better soon.
Vikki, feeling's mutual! I'm a fan!!
I emailed Kelly for the results for my category. Give it a go.
Big THUMBS UP to Up Popped A Fox and all your readers!!
Congrats are definitely in order! The results are now posted on the website with the totals.
I actually did slam my finger in a car door. Was so drunk, I didn't even feel it until I woke up the next morning. It was swollen down through the knuckle. The doctors or nurses had never seen anything like it. I too was prescribed the wannabe Vicodin. A half a pill did me right!
Have you discovered yet that you need your thumb to do absolutely everything? That damn opposable thumb!
oh no! Deborah, I also have a few rippled fingernails! I never knew what it was... it's like my fingernails are kind of wavy. Do you think I have that too?
abbgg, ouch!! yes, it's true. i'm useless without my thumb.
jennifer, i'm no doctor, but i've learned my lesson. when in doubt, check it out.
Holy crap! With your thumb wrapped up like that, you'd be an expert hitchhiker now!! :D
And I couldn't help but laugh a little reading about your adventures with hydrocodone. I've used it in the past for help with migraines..it tends to make me sick to my stomach if I don't take it with food, but my doctor warned me of that beforehand (and I also have a 'script for phenergan, so I would just always take the two together...which tended to knock me out though).
Anyway...enjoyed the post :) It was sorta like a funny episode of ER....or Grey's Anatomy, except with actual lesbians! ;)
Hi, Deborah! Just wanted to say, that I'm your blog's fan for two or more weeks now(I did vote for it, too!:) and thanks for sharing with your thoughts, casual life with your partner&kids, it's intersting and useful, because I'm planning to have that kind of family with my partner in the near future(of course, have a lot of thoughts, doubt etc., thanks to low level of tolerance in society towards open gay people&gay families in my country, but we hope for the best). Good luck to you too!
rhea, wish i had consulted with you before i downed those 2 pills. i've now shelved the idea of taking them again. the bottle is sitting right next to the shots of tequila i won't touch ever again!
m_z, welcome!! family life is tough enough without having to worry about ignorance and intolerance. i wish you all the best in your decision making process, and i hope that you're able to surround yourself with a supportive community to help you live the life that will make you most happy.
Tequila is actually my drink of choice! :D
Too bad it didn't happen to your big toe...trying to think of a good toe truck joke but can't. Sorry it happened. When someone asks you what happened, you can always have fun filling in the blank.
Sorry about not getting the award. You got a lot of traffic for your site and probably more subscribers and a lot more good vibes from so many peeps.
Youch! Now I see why you didn't want to tell me all that this morning while we chased little ones around little kiddush!
But damn, your funny! I alternated between laughing and squirming reading that.
Best of luck with the new nail!
Hydrocodone sounds liky oxycodone, which I first heard about as a party drug on an episode of Law & Order. So it must be good ;-)
Oh, I see it's Vicodin after all. So now you know how House feels!
Congrats on the 2nd place from one of your many voting fans.
Nice blog! This post reminds me of when my roomie in Park Slope broke her wrist, first time out on rollerblades. My boyfriend at the time commented that it was going to really interfere with her new job (production assistant for Christine Vachon!) but E quipped that she was more concerned about how it would affect her sex life.
Funny Lisa D! I hope she was able to compensate with other body parts.
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