I wore white...SO?

March 3 - our anniversary. Which anniversary is that, Deborah? You can’t legally get married, so what in tarnation are you on about? Hey. It’s fun to say taaar-nation. Try it. I can’t help but say it with my bastardized, southern accent. It really doesn’t work any other way. Where was I? Oh, how do the gays measure relationship time? First date? First kiss?

That’s right up there with “What does it mean when you lesbians say you had sex?” I actually don’t mind answering this question after a few glasses of wine with my mummy friends. My only condition is that all the ladies share. I’ve learned quite a bit about what the straight girls are doing – and NOT doing with their husbands. I was amazed that so few of my friends had never owned or used a vibrator. I always thought it was one of those things every girl has tried at least once. I was not surprised, however, by the lack of bum-fun participation. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I get it. .....as often as I can. Badum bum! Just joshin’. I’m not talking booty with you people. You’ll have to join my book club if you want to know details. Hey ladies!!

And so what is sex? I propose that that question is applicable to all couples (or threesomes) regardless of gender. Do you have to be naked? Does Flap A have to be inserted in Slot B? If there is A & B action but no one makes it to heaven, does that count? What if Flap A is a finger or a tongue? If Slot B is a mouth or a bum, is that sex? If the end result is the Big O, does it matter what the means? What if only one person ... gets there? The answer is who cares?!? If I tell you I had sex last night, then all that matters is that I finally got some-whatever “some” is, and you should be very happy for me.

As far as measuring the time we have been together, we have numerous anniversaries to remember. There’s the first night we officially declared ourselves to be a couple, almost 15 years ago. There’s our wedding night, 8 years ago. There’s our Domestic Partnership anniversary and our Civil Union anniversary 2 years ago. And one day, hopefully before senility sets in, we’ll be celebrating our legal marriage in the U.S. So again, if I say we’re celebrating our anniversary, you don’t say, “Which one?” Who cares? You say, “Congratulations!" or "Mazel Tov!" or "Auguri!”

But if you must know, I will tell you that it is our wedding on the 3rd of March in 2001 in London we celebrate above all other anniversaries, and it was the most magical day of my life (and I'm pretty sure Gabriella's life, too), and I don’t think there will ever be a day that comes close. Ah, to be young and fit and in love. Ok, and it is pretty amazing to be surrounded by people you love all celebrating your relationship...by an open bar.

We used to celebrate anniversaries with expensive gifts and luxurious vacations. Life with children brings different joys and many limitations. But we always take time out to remember our wedding and celebrate our relationship. I start to get all silly and sappy inside when I think about how we are still going strong-bringing out the best in each other and cherishing our lives together-until Gabriella comes downstairs and interrupts my creative flow. “Are you going to do the dishes?” she asks. I am still typing so I don’t look up. “Eventually. Are you going to put out?” I ask. “Eventually.”

Happy Anniversary, Gabriella. I love you.