Home after a road trip to Boston to spend Passover with my sister and her family. I'll be telling the tale much as the Passover story is told at the seder - in parts. This is the story of our journey. The Exodus to Boston.
Our travels were thankfully uneventful aside from a couple of squabbles surrounding which DVDs the boys would watch in the car. They disagree - loudly - for sport. I guess it is because of the lack of excitement on our trip that Mianus stood out. Mianus is, in fact, a destination. “One where the sun don’t shine?” you ask. “A destination many have visited?” you nervously wonder. A) No. B) No comment. Let’s be clear. I have not misspelled my anus or written my anus as if spoken in a foreign tongue. I’m not sure that I should refer to my anus and foreign tongue in the same sentence. I do apologise for anyone who might be offended. The fact that Gabriella is, in fact, foreign has nothing to do with why I might have partnered the two.
Mianus, Connecticut is a neighbourhood that sits in the center of Cos Cob and Old Greenwich. Mianus Pond sits at the northern tip of the Cos Cob Harbour which separates Cos Cob and Old Greenwich as a crack separates two cheeks. Apparently, the name honours the chief of the Native American Tribe, the Siwanoy Tribe that lived there when the first European settlers landed. I can only assume that the meaning of the name had little to do with the rectum and therefore, he was not the butt of jokes as he would be today. Of course, one can never assume for when one assumes...do I have to spell it out? You make an ASS out of U and ME.
Unfortunately, I do not know the Native American meaning of Mianus amongst the Siwanoy people. It could have meant Man who Follows Hawk to Fresh Water or Warrior Whose Bow Hangs to the Left or Man Whose Pungent Under Arm Odour Wards Off Bears. Names had meanings then unlike today. My last name is Goldstein, but I’m not German. My kids have Italian last names, but they are not biologically Italian. They’re Shania-Italians. Like Shania Twain, they’ve been adopted in to the heritage their surnames suggest. Shania Twain is not Native American by blood, but her step father was Ojibwa. He adopted her and raised her as Native American. The Native Americans accept her as a part of their community despite the stir it caused when it came out that she wasn’t a half-breed by blood. Gabriella is doing her bit to surround her boys with unconditional motherly love, a smattering of Italian phrases and homemade sauce-NEVER jarred. They’ll feel as Italian as Shania does Native American.
Speaking of anuses and half-breeds, what about the name origin of the American Idol Glam Rocker Adam Lambert who is the love child of Cher and Dr. Frank-N-Furter?
If his name reflected his persona, it would have to mean something like Rhinestone Cowboy of Pop Music or Prime Time Entertainer Who Adds Glitter and Spandex to Song. I decided to do a little research (and I do mean little). Adam means man in Hebrew. Lambert is an occupational name from the Old English for shepherd, lamb + hierd. As you can see, our fabulous singing super star has come a long way from his roots; Man In Robes Who Follows Sheep With Long Staff.
As we drove past Mianus on our way to celebrate our freedom from slavery and exodus into the desert, it was Gabriella who called attention to our entry into Mianus.
G: Did you see that sign? Mianus?!? What an unfortunate name of a town. If I lived in Mianus...
D: If you lived in Mianus, you’d have to get your head out of your ass!
G: No because I’d be living in your anus.
We were off to a good start. We were no longer slaves in Egypt. No longer roaming the desert. And we don’t have to live in Mianus.
The Story of Passover - To Be Continued