Because you don't want us to move in with you

Gabriella has no job (Technology Strategic Sourcing & Operations if you know of ANYTHING-ANYWHERE!), and the money runs out sooner than I care to admit. We’ve made it last this long, but now it’s time to take off the rose coloured glasses and stare right into the belly of reality we’ve so successfully ignored until now. It was fun while it lasted. At least I can say that.

While Gabriella continues to scrape and claw for a job, I now need to dust off the resume and send it out into the world. The good news is that I can tap into my network of friends without fear that anyone will feel in the least bit threatened. I have not had a job outside of the home in over 6 years. And, I haven’t worked in the United States since Y1K.

I’ve actually always enjoyed working in sales and business development (resume available upon request). I didn’t save lives, but I managed to pull my weight, bring in some cash and have a good time doing it. One day, I would do it again...when the kids are in school. One day is here sooner than I thought, and I’m trying to get used to the idea. I just hadn’t banked on getting back in the saddle so soon. As you can imagine, I’m a wee bit anxious. I'm not ready. I don't know where to begin. My mind is racing with all the things I can do to pocket some cash without having to hit the pavement. What can I do that doesn’t involve reworking my resume, cold-calling and squeezing into clothes that are out of style and a couple of sizes too small?

How about surrogacy! I know I can make babies. There may be some interviewing to do, but I’ve got a proven track record, and I certainly don’t have to wear stockings. This town is teeming with would-be gay dads looking for baby makers. Unfortunately, Gabriella would prefer that my productivity occur outside of my uterus. Furthermore, only uncompensated surrogacy is allowed in the state of New Jersey. Yeah, that’s not happening!

Then there’s Quirky. Didja see the article in the New York Times Magazine last weekend about the kid who launched a collaborative invention site? You can submit an idea for a product or gadget, and everyone on the site votes to determine which products Quirky should take from concept to reality. In a matter of days, the team listens to comments and questions from registered users and spits out a product to sell.

It’s my dream destination as I have had roughly 897 ideas for amazing products, give or take, over the years and no possible hope that any single one of them would ever see the light of day. Take the Quim Trim. I credit the poetry of a friend who dubbed it as such. This was my idea for a razor that enabled women to groom, shape and trim the most delicate of places. Behold the Schick Quattro that recently hit the shops. Anyone who knows me knows how long ago I dreamed up that little gem. I have been somewhat of a quim aficionado for quite some time, after all.

Desperately reaching for stars, I submitted an idea that is now up for a vote. I want you to go to the site and vote for it. You only need to register with your name and email address. I’m not looking to win a popularity contest here, people. We need the cash. For real!

My gadget-to-be is listed with the working title: FreezeFoe. It’s an alarm that prevents you from forgetting that bottle of beer or wine you put in the freezer and alerts you when said beverage is at the perfect serving temperature. C'mon, that could fly, right? Please show Quirky the power of the blogosphere. Please.

Go to QUIRKY. To register, you'll provide your name and email address. Then, you will activate your account by selecting the link in the email sent to your inbox. Don't forget to check your email.

Still with me? Hang in there! When you select that link, you'll get back to the site, and there will be survey. Not the survey type? Scroll down and select SKIP.

From there, go to PRODUCT EVALUATION and find FreezeFoe. Cast your vote for my little gadget and your job is done. I know there are a few steps here, but if you can follow a blog, you can register on Quirky and vote for FreezeFoe. I believe in you.

Gabriella will continue to look for a job. I am next out of the gate. In the meantime, maybe I will be able to buy stale bread for the children with the pennies I earn from the FreezeFoe...with your help, of course. All else fails, I’m willing to travel to a more permissive state to house your unborn child.