Julie Goldman: Comedy Va-Genius

Julie Goldman performed at Montclair Statue University last Saturday night, and she rocked it, mutha fuckas! Pardon me, but I’m still a little Jersey-fied after the show. On the drive to MSU, I told Gabriella that not only were we in for some laughs, but that we’d be part of a Fuckin’ Jersey Lezzy Fest. We were not disappointed. And why should Jersey lesbians be any different than Jersey straights? The Jersey girl stands out no matter her orientation. But I’ll save my thoughts on the Jersey dyke for another time. This is about Me Julie.

If you're unfamiliar with Ali G's Me Julie, click HERE.

Physically, Julie reminds me of Lea DeLaria back when we knew Lea as more of a comedian than a singer. Julie’s a self-proclaimed butch lez who likes to paint her toenails like Lea likes to wear mascara and eye-shadow. But Julie’s material is not as mean-spirited or crass. That’s not to imply, however, that Julie is wholesome. She’s definitely more Lea than Ellen on the lesbian comedy spectrum, but she doesn’t use foul language just for the sake of it. Man, do I sound like a middle-aged, suburban mother or what – “she doesn’t use foul language”? Shit.

I remember seeing Lea in Provincetown when I was a 20 something lesbian sporting a bowl haircut and Harry Potter glasses before Harry Potter made them stylish. She was particularly angry and mean-spirited, but then again, we were all a lot angrier then-before we convinced ourselves that it's ok to be almost equal. We laughed right along with her when she artfully and poetically strung expletives together when referring to George Bush, and we couldn’t get enough of the pussy-talk.

The connection to Me Julie’s comedy is entirely different. She’s a Jew before she is a butch lesbian, and that makes her my sister from another mister. My principessa Italian lady-friend Gabriella and I shared knowing looks as she talked about her aversion to camping. We share her preference to hotels with room service and indoor plumbing to bugs and wiping our lady-bits with leaves. Julie shared that most people assume that because she’s a butch lez, she must camp. She explained to all of the non-Jews in the crowd “just because It looks likes It wants to camp doesn’t mean It wants to camp.”

Julie also has a Jewish mother like many of us do who is irritated most of the time and always looks like she’s uncomfortable. Even though I’m slowly becoming that irritated Jewish mother, I still managed to laugh at the expense of us all.

I recommend that you put headphones on to watch the videos not so much because of the references to lesbians and vadge, but because the audio is pretty poor, and you’ll hear better if you do what I say. “What?” Exactly.



And speaking of mothers, here are some of her thoughts on becoming a mother.



I wish I had captured the bit about the butch in the bra shop, but I was laughing so hard, I wouldn’t have been able to hold the camera steady. Julie’s physical humor added that special layer of hilarity that made me weep.

Thanks, Julie Goldman, for the laughs! New Jersey clearly loves you because you are a butch lez comedy va-genius. Come back and see us again some time. What are you doing for Rosh Hashanah?